My heart was heavy today.

You thrill me, Lord, with all you have done for me! I sing for joy because of what you have done.

~ Psalm 92:4

I found this scripture during lunch - because my heart was feeling heavy - I spent my lunch hour reading the Word and praying. God is faithful to hear us when we pray and tend to the need of our heart. I am so thankful for such a loving Father!

Happiness and joy must come from the INSIDE of a person to be real. Circumstances and other people can NOT make us truly happy. Each person is responsible for their own happiness - it's never fair to give the burden of our individual happiness to another because NO ONE in this world is equipped for that responsibility. I think when we try to depend on a person for our source of happiness - it is called co-dependency. Not a good thing. If we try to make a person our source of happiness, we end up disappointed because people are human - they will always let us down AND we make the person that we have burdened with the job of making us happy, feel very inadequate and constantly striving to do the job that we require of them. If that person loves you - they will try and try and try, yet never do enough to make us happy. If we are the person "responsible" for the other's happiness, we often feel smothered by the other, they seem to think that their life is actually "our" life! I learned this lesson over many years because my mother believed that I was her source of happiness. It is a huge burden to put on a child, a teenager or an adult. The result, my mother never found happiness and I ended up feeling tired, resentful and inadequate because I could never do enough to make her happy. That is because IT WASN'T MY JOB!!!
Please don't ever do that to another person.

As much as I love John, Ryan and Laura, Sean, Aaron and Audrey, Lawson, Taylor, Britain, Emma Grace and Lila - AND - as much as they cause my heart to feel happiness - they are not the source of my personal happiness. They add additional joy - but they are not the source.

Here is a "short" list of things that I once thought would make me happy - but didn't:
* If I could only lose weight, then I would be happy. (I obviously got over that one)
* If I could have a baby or another baby, then I would be happy
* If I didn't have to live in Jonesboro, AR, then I would be happy
* If I were rich, then I would be happy
* If I could have that specific ring, necklace, new make-up, outfit, etc., that would make me happy.
* If my kids had the very best of everything, then I would be happy and insure that they were happy
* If I had a bigger house in the sought after neighborhood, that would surely make me happy.
* If I could only be "free" - then I would be happy. I was so glad to learn that I am already FREE - Jesus freed me from the chains that had me bound.
* If I could stay home with my children, then I would be happy
* If I could work and put my children in day care, then I would be happy
* If I had a new job, then I would be happy
* If "that" person weren't in my life anymore, then I would be happy
* If my kids lived closer to home, that would make me happy
* If "whomever" would treat me differently - the way I think they should, then I would be happy
* If I could fall in love again - start over, that would make me happy
* If I could just have "My way" this one time, I would be happy

That is a short list of things that I can remember thinking would make me happy - but didn't. They gave me short-term pleasure - nothing real and lasting - there is always that next "thing" or person that pops up that will surely make us happy.

I am so thankful that God finally got through to me and helped me realize that He is my source of happiness and joy! He alone is the only one that can cause me to be fulfilled and complete.

That does NOT mean that I still don't want things. ;-)

So, today as my heart was feeling temporarily heavy and unhappy, I went to my Father and cried out to Him. He heard me and delivered me from my pain.

Yes - happiness must come from the inside of you! I am so glad that the JOY OF THE LORD IS MY STRENGTH and that all of MY HOPE IS IN HIM!

Reach out to Jesus - He will never let you down.