I have so many things to be thankful for - I consider myself the happiest, luckiest and most blessed woman in the world. I really do. Those of you that know me - know that is true.
I believe that a healthy self-esteem is one of the greatest gifts that we can give our children, grandchildren and other children in our life that we love. The world can be a hard and cruel place. We need to make sure that we send our children out well equipped to deal with the obstacles and realities that they will face.
The more people in our children's lives (in my case, my grandchildren's lives) that love and adore them - the better. Being loved and adored strengthens their perception of who they are - makes them know that they are accepted, special and perfect just the way they are. Truly a priceless gift.
I can speak with authority on this subject because I have watched and/or experienced both.
First - my three sons each have an awesome self-esteem! I did many things wrong as a parent - but that one thing I did right. It makes me both thankful and proud.
As a child, I lived in a home where there was not a lot of loving or adoring going on. Our home was chaotic - so many mixed signals; a little love and adoration from one and the polar opposite from others. Everyone scratching and clawing trying to survive emotionally and in some cases physically. (if you want details - you will need to read the book). Definitely no one was made to feel special.
An example; my parents had a love hate/relationship with one another. My mother had a love/hate relationship with me. The reason, I looked like my dad and I was the apple of his eye. He loved and adored me - my mom was jealous - he treated me like a princess - he didn't treat the other kids or her the same. Me - I am innocent - just a kid. My mom trying to deal with her own poor self-esteem would undermine the love and adoration that my dad showed me. I have a dark complextion - dark hair - dark eyes - like my dad. My mom was very fair, light colored hair like my two sisters. She would put me in the tub and scrub me with Comet telling me that the dark skin like my dad's was less than ok. Pow - self esteem buster! My mom with her very poor self-esteem made comments like, "daddy doesn't love us." Ouch! She was trying to get at my dad - but made a direct blow to me. So confusing - I thought my daddy loved me - does he or doesn't he? As a child you trust your parents and what they tell you. So you see - very confusing are mixed signals.
Don't ever give your child a reason to think that they are not ok or that the clothes, shoes, etc that they like to wear or that the other parent gives them are not ok. It is a real self-esteem buster. Don't ever talk poorly about the other parent in front of the children - it will do a number on them - it doesn't get to the other parent (if he/she has a healthy self image) - it only damages and scars a child.
Anyway - back to the topic, I am thankful that my precious grandchildren have so many adults in their lives that genuinely love and adore them. The more the better. It's awesome for them; such validation that they are ok and lovable.
Ryan, Laura, Sean, Aaron and Audrey, you are such wonderful parents to my grandchildren. So very proud of each one of you. I am thankful for all of the positive adult influences that my grandbabies are exposed to. They are destined for greatness with amazing self esteems!
That is my two cents from the peanut gallery today.
Bless you......
